I read the national news less and less frequently. A quick scan of the headlines and then I’m out of there.

In part, because it takes so much effort to actually find real news. There is no value in stories about how the “other media” are awful journalists. Or what a comedian said. Who cares?

If I actually want to learn about something, I find I have to do my own journalistic inquiries.

However, the main reason I avoid the news is that it impacts my attitude. It frustrates my mindset.

For the same reason, I avoid most social media. While there is a lot of value in social media, too often I feel like I’ve lost more than I’ve gained from my social media experience.

I can’t afford that.

I have roles that I’ve chosen in life: As a leader, a consultant, a coach, a husband, and a father.

These are all relationships. Relationships that require seeing the value, pursuing growth and faith in potential.

In every single relationship I have, there is an opportunity for toxicity. Sometimes a temptation to be toxic. Exposure to negative media inflames my innate tendencies towards toxicity.

I know the power of that temptation. In the past, I’ve wasted too much of my influence and damaged too many relationships by being cynical, sarcastic or negative.

No value comes from it.

It is every leader’s role to bring value and life to the situations we are in. If we can’t or won’t do that – where do we possibly hope to lead to? How do we hope to grow anything or bring about any kind of positive change?

Culture Reflects Leadership

Leaders lead out of who they are.

Leaders create cultures out of who they are.

There is a powerful social-psychological effect at play. The values and behaviors of a leader give permission to guide, magnify and reinforce similar values and behaviors in those they lead.  Even if those being led aren’t aware of it or don’t even like the leader.

I see this with my clients all of the time. The behaviors of frontline staff and line management will somehow reflect the values and behaviors of leadership.

I learn a lot about the executives I work with, before I ever meet them, by spending time with their employees. Trends in employee attitudes and behavior are nearly always a reflection of our reaction to leadership values and behaviors.

What Does This Mean For Leaders?

Most leaders will say they want positive sounding things: Success for their organization. Positive customer experiences. High-quality services. Safety or security for employees. Loyalty from employees.

But you can’t just plan for those results. Leaders have to actually embody them.

By this, I mean that leaders need to reflect on the core values and behaviors that will produce the outcomes they desire.

Then that leader needs to do their own personal work to become the kind of person that embodies those values and behaviors. It’s out of that personal work and effort that they will naturally lead to the results that they want.

That Is the Hard Work of Leadership

There are two primary difficulties for leaders. Two primary battlegrounds:

• Being Out of Alignment with Our Own Vision: I spend a lot of time around a lot of leaders. Most of these leaders have a vision for success – however they define that.

The ones who achieve and then sustain that success are the ones who have put the effort into becoming the kind of leader who matches the success they are building.

There are many leaders who have great goals and aspirations. But they are unwilling to become the kind of people who make those goals and aspirations a reality.

• Attacking Our Own Reflections: I regularly work with leaders who are frustrated by the silos in their organization. Or competitive staff. But they refuse to meaningfully include their teams in decision making. They don’t communicate or share information or authority.

Other leaders are frustrated by conflict or negative attitudes within their team. But they don’t address their own tendency to avoid dealing with issues or to blame others instead of taking responsibility.

What Can We Do?

As mentioned before, leaders can only lead out of who they are. The primary tool for any leader is that leader’s own self.

Therefore, personal development is an obligation of leadership.

I once had a team do a “negative values” exercise. I asked them to individually identify the drivers and motivations in their life that would never make it onto a value statement.

This was a good group of people. But the exercise was sobering.

However, they found the exercise to be important because they were able to get honest about what really directed their decisions and behaviors. This allowed the questions, “Am I ok with this? Does this best serve myself and those that I lead? Are there any changes I’d like to make?”

For some, this sparked a moment of personal insight and, hopefully, change.

Detoxing and Nutrition

Athletes know that you can’t out train a bad diet. The same is true for leadership.

If I want to continue to grow as a leader I need to be careful to remove toxic influences in my life. Additionally, I need to ensure that I’m providing “nutritional” positive influences.

Here are some ideas that I’ve personally found useful and that research seems to support:

Leadership Detoxing:

• Limit exposure to negative or “nutritionally empty” media
• Limit exposure to negative relationships
• Remove unnecessary distractions or intrusions into your time. This includes most phone/computer alerts and notifications, etc.
• Remove unproductive meetings (or agenda items), associations, memberships or meaningless obligations. They are time and energy sucks.
• Identify negative thinking patterns and replace them with positive ones. (Example: If you find yourself feeling anxious about something, stop and identify 10 things you can be grateful for)

Leadership Nutrition:

• Practice gratitude
• Practicing stillness: Silence, meditation or contemplative prayer
• Remind yourself daily on “why” being a healthy, impactful leader is important to you
• Create one (or more) new relationships with people who are a little ahead of where you are in an area you want to grow
• Expose yourself, regularly, to “nutritionally dense” media that educates and/or encourages you
• Write out a clear vision and focus for:
  • How you want to grow in the near-term and…
  • How you want to grow those around you. Review this daily.
• Take care of yourself physically: Sleep well, eat well, move your body
• Identify success—this trains your mind to see opportunity and strengths:
  • What is one way you can pursue your vision today?
  • What is one way you were successful in pursuing it yesterday?
  • What is something you saw in someone else that indicated their growth or effort towards growth?

Growing Yourself Grows Everyone Else

Most of my readers are leaders who want to have a positive and meaningful impact. Much of leadership is about skills in strategy, communication, management, and relationships.

However, the real power of leadership is subconscious. Natural. Even unintentional.

To shape and grow your unintentional impact, you need to intentionally focus on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.

This isn’t selfish. It’s service.

And no one else will do it for you.

Take good care,

Christian

Would you like to feel more focused in your leadership impact? Contact me to set up a call. Together we’ll look at the issue you are facing and identify the top 2 or 3 strategies to consider.

My New Book!: Conflict and Leadership is available on Amazon. Read what others are saying:

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