1.  You don’t like the “soft stuff”

Leadership is a relationship. When people have the opportunity to choose a leader (and ultimately everyone chooses) they primarily do so according to four principles[1]. As uncomfortable as it may be for some people – those principles are based on how a leader makes others feel.

These are the four relational dynamics that followers are looking for:

• Trust: Trust or credibility, as it relates to leadership, is well researched and understood[2]. Are you willing to do what you say you will do? Do you have internal integrity? Do you tell the truth? Are you willing to be authentic or even transparent?

If you aren’t trustworthy or can’t be relied on – you shouldn’t lead. 

• Compassion: Do you care about the interests and well-being of others? Are you willing to sacrifice for the benefit of others? Are you willing to be tough and challenging, when that best serves the interests of others?

If you don’t really care about others – you shouldn’t lead. 

• Stability: Do people feel that their future will be secure because of you? If change is needed, are you willing to be patient with people? Are you willing to be disciplined in your decisions and direction so that there is predictability for others?

If you aren’t able or willing to move towards stability, even when leading change — you shouldn’t lead. 

• Hope: Do people look at the future and feel confidence or anticipation? Does your vision incorporate the underlying needs, concerns, and desires of those you lead?

If you don’t see and engage with potential and opportunity – you shouldn’t lead.

2.  You don’t know what you want or why

Some people don’t have a goal in mind. There is no vision. No objective.

Their leadership is dependent on outside influence – perhaps avoidance of pain or problems. They wanted a position, but not to accomplish anything. Or, all of their vision is a negative reaction to something or someone else.

I recently received a re-election solicitation from an incumbent politician. The entire letter can be summed up as, “I’m against X people and Y agendas.” I don’t know what this person is for, or what they are trying to accomplish. This individual isn’t leading. Just reacting to other people’s leadership. And it has shown for years.

Your vision doesn’t have to be entirely your own. It’s just as legitimate (sometimes more so) to develop a vision out of the aspirations and desires of others. But you need vision. A leader has to take people somewhere.

If you don’t know what you want or what makes it important – you shouldn’t lead.

3.  You are more focused on effort than you are on results

Many people confuse how much effort or time with results. There are lots of reasons for this. Many of which are simply tied to compensation – most people, and many jobs, are compensated by time as opposed to getting anything done.
Culturally, there is also an emphasis on having a “strong work ethic.” Which is a good thing, but it isn’t the same thing as accomplishing results.

Very few leaders are clear, or can even tell you, about the results they are looking for. Many are too focused on effort. Most of these leaders would actually like to accomplish results. They just don’t know what the results should be, or how to measure them or what actions should produce the results. They haven’t taken the time to figure it out.

There are some leaders who actively don’t care about results. They care about the status quo or personal goals. These leaders may make a big deal about effort or time because it is an effective smokescreen for the lack of results.

You can imagine what that approach does to morale and culture.

If aren’t willing or able to focus on and produce results – then you shouldn’t lead. 

On the other hand: 

• If you are willing and excited about the soft skills of leadership – especially engendering trust, relating with compassion, providing stability and offering hope
• If you have something to accomplish and you know why it matters
• If you define success as progress towards goals, not effort or time spent

Then leadership might be a very good match for you. The world probably needs more of you in it. 

Keep well,
Christian Muntean

[1] Gallup What Followers Want From Leaders

[2]  Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It

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