5 Tough Questions That Will Help You Build Trust
Have you ever noticed how some businesses or organizations – or leaders – seem to have enormous potential but never quite reach it? Have you ever wondered why this is?
There are many challenges that growing organizations face. But even in the happy land of having all the money and staff you could want – one persistent leadership challenge often remains The ability to fully trust your team.
Usually, this lack of trust is voiced along the lines of, “I just don’t trust so-and-so to do the job the way I’d like.” Or “I just don’t believe they are going to care about this like I do.”
Maybe you are right.
But what are you going to do about it?
A colleague of mine, Daniel Woodrum, is the head coach of Craig Ballantyne’s team. He recently wrote about something he called the Trust Factor Exercise. I thought was valuable for two reasons:
- He is tangible. I try to be. But he nailed it.
- He challenges leaders to be responsible. Our teams follow our lead. We need to be responsible first.
Here are his words (used with permission):
The Trust Factor Exercise
“How many times have you said, “I don’t trust [enter team member name] to do that properly”?
I bet more than you can count on two hands. I’ve been guilty of that throughout my career.
But here’s the thing…what you are saying is you don’t trust yourself to properly lead your team.
- You don’t trust yourself to give them the right processes to follow.
- You don’t trust yourself to have tough conversations when warranted.
- You don’t trust yourself to be able to delegate and then hold them accountable.
It’s easy to blame everyone else and use the excuse, “I don’t trust anyone to do it as well as I would.”
What’s the solution?
Go through this Trust Factor Exercise for each team member that you feel is hard to trust.
This allows you to identify WHAT & WHY you don’t trust them. But most importantly it allows you to take ownership and do something about it.
- List out all your Team Members.
- Write out WHAT you don’t trust them to do.
- Write out WHY you don’t trust them to do that.
- Write out how you are at fault for this.
- What can you do to fix this and gain back/earn the trust?
Once you go through this exercise, I want you to focus on #4 & #5.
Identifying how you are at fault for this immediately helps you shift your perspective and allows you to gain more control of the situation.
Please understand this is a process and won’t happen overnight.
But I promise if you go through this Trust Factor Exercise, you will establish more trust with your team members, which is one of the most important indicators of your success.”
Why do I like Daniel’s exercise?
When leaders feel like they can’t trust they lose ability or power. They are unable to build or leverage the skills of others. The Trust Factor Exercise gives the power back to the leaders.
For sure, it’s challenging. It’s hard to use the words “my fault”. It’s the easiest thing in the world to point to others and say, “You are the reason I don’t trust.”
But it’s better to say, “I don’t trust…maybe I should do something about that.”
When trust hasn’t been earned or has been lost
It is true. Sometimes trust is betrayed. This article isn’t about that. This isn’t about the employee you catch with their hands in the till.
This article is about the employees who have not yet earned your trust because your requirements are too high or cryptic.
It’s also about the employees who haven’t been set up to succeed. They were placed in the wrong role or not prepared for the right role. They are asked to do things outside of their skill or experience set, or they haven’t been given sufficient resources, or their knowledge base isn’t sufficient, or the challenge is bigger than their confidence.
To bring this home, here are two common examples:
“I don’t trust that they will do a quality job.”
Sample questions to ask:
- What does a quality job look like? How you will evaluate or measure it?
- How well do their skills and abilities match the job you’ve given them?
- How well do they understand the job that you want them to do?
“I don’t trust them to follow through on X, Y, Z”
Sample questions to ask:
- How clear were you about what X, Y, and Z look like and how performance will be measured?
- How clear are your timelines and any other criteria you have in mind?
- What kind of support would help them be successful?
Be active, not passive, about building trust
Like the vapid Hollywood interpretation of love, “The heart wants what it wants,” too many leaders are passive and emotionally immature about trust. They assume it either just happens or it doesn’t. Who are we to say?
Trust, like any kind of love that means something over time, isn’t something you fall into. It’s something you build on purpose.
Great teams, businesses, and organizations are all built on trust. But first, trust was built.
There is no other way.
Take good care,
Christian
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