Some years ago, I ordered something through a shipping service. I can’t remember what it was—maybe a bed for one of the kids. When I went to pick it up, I was surprised at how large it was. I assumed it would be broken down into more boxes, but it was just one giant, heavy box.

The guy at the shipping place offered to help me load it onto the top of my 4Runner. I took him up on the offer. As we were lifting it up, it dawned on me that I’d have to get it off by myself. I commented on this to my short-term helper.

“That’s your future self’s problem,” he said, then went back inside.

Holding Others Accountable is Being Kind to Your (and Their) Future Self

Similar to how I later had to struggle alone with that heavy box, we often leave tough tasks for later. We think it’s easier that way, but this only makes things harder for our future selves. Accountability in leadership means dealing with issues in the moment to prevent bigger problems later.

In an unusually serious conversation about parenting, comedian Jimmy Carr discussed the need not just to give children whatever they want. He suggested that being willing to provide accountability in parenting is being kind to their potential. I love that framing.

This isn’t just true for parenting; it’s true for how we lead and manage others as well. We often settle for being ‘nice’ in the moment. However, accountability in leadership feels like hard work. It is often uncomfortable, but it is essential for growth.

What is Accountability?

Many leaders have a negative reaction to the word “accountability.” There’s often an assumption that it means calling people out, getting in their faces, or micromanaging their work. In reality, accountability in leadership is straightforward: it’s simply ensuring actions and results match expectations.

At times, this might mean having difficult conversations. But done well, it’s just about conversations—not confrontations. Leaders often avoid accountability because they’re afraid of how their team might perceive them—demanding, mean, or simply uncomfortable. But avoiding it has real costs, including:

• Erosion of trust and morale
• Decreased performance
• High turnover rates
• Missed learning opportunities
• Reduced employee engagement
• Damage to a leader’s credibility
• Legal and reputational risks

Endlessly Creative Ways We Avoid Accountability in Leadership

Leaders often find creative ways to dodge accountability in leadership. Here are some common ones:

• Dodging the Tough Stuff: Skipping hard conversations doesn’t make the problem go away—it just defers an even harder conversation for later.
• Talking in Circles: Hints and vague comments won’t fix anything. If you’re not clear, you’re complicit.
• Lowering the Bar: Dropping standards to avoid conflict isn’t kindness—it’s setting everyone up for failure.
• Passing the Buck: Handing off accountability to someone else shows you’re unwilling to lead from the front.
• Hiding Behind Praise: Compliments are great, but ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away—it just breeds mediocrity.
• Kicking the Can: Procrastination isn’t a strategy. Delaying the tough talks just makes them harder.
• Pointing Fingers Elsewhere: Blaming external factors is just dodging your responsibility. Own the outcomes.
• Process Over People: Hiding behind procedures is cowardly. True leadership is about handling people, not paper.
• Overcompensating: Picking up the slack for others isn’t heroic—it’s enabling.

The point is: you’re not being kind when you avoid holding people to account. Accountability in leadership means addressing issues directly and timely.

Accountability as an Act of Kindness

I provide accountability in leadership for many of my clients. Usually, it’s as simple as “Last week you said you’d accomplish X by this week. How did that go?” Then we talk about it. Maybe it went great, maybe there was a problem, or maybe they forgot what they told me. We address the outcome, identify what’s next, and move forward.

That’s accountability in leadership: checking in and ensuring actions align with expectations. It’s not about confrontation—it’s about conversation. This approach works for weekly check-ins, strategic planning, or even spot-checking product quality. The concept is the same.

Sure, sometimes there are uncomfortable confrontations. But when kept respectful and caring (without coddling), these conversations drive growth.

Making Accountability in Leadership Work

• Make it Normal: Schedule it in. Make it a regular part of conversations, not something that only happens when a problem is perceived. If you have these conversations when things are great, they won’t seem weird when there is a problem.
• Set Clear Expectations: Accountability thrives on clearly defined and measurable indicators of success. Lack of clarity about expectations is one of the primary drivers of workplace conflict. It’s unnecessary and avoidable.
• Stay Respectful: Value the person you are talking to and their potential. If you believe in their potential, it’s easier to be kind to it.
• Celebrate Effort, Progress, and Wins: Accountability is also about recognizing good effort, marking progress, and celebrating successes.
• Nurture Growth: Use accountability in leadership as a catalyst to grow people, not to tear them down. Approach people that way.

Accountability in leadership is about being kind to someone’s potential. It is one of the most powerful tools you can use to grow both your people and your organization.

So the next time you’re tempted to dodge the tough conversation, ask yourself: are you being kind to their present or cruel to their potential?

Take good care,
Christian