It seems to happen at least once a year.

A bright-eyed somebody decides to test him or herself against the Alaskan wilderness. They show up confidently naïve and ill-prepared. If they survive, they walk with a deeper appreciation that Walt Disney did not design nature.

But not all survive.

This year, it was Vladimir Yakushin, age 29, a Russian student who recently graduated from college. He told others that he wanted to go be a man. He wanted to test himself. He bought land in a very remote part of the state. He was flown out and dropped off with just enough supplies to taunt survival.

The plan: Build a cabin by hand and learn to live off the land.

In two weeks he was spotted by a passing airplane. He was down-river, frantically waving his raft paddles. Hungry, tired, cold, wet, scared.

Fortunately, he was rescued.

As I read his story, I found myself wishing something for Vladimir that surprised me.

He did something that very few people will ever do. He had a dream and he pursued it. He tried.

My wish for Vladimir: Don’t give up.

A Culture of Voyeurism

We live in a society of observers. Voyeurs.

Nearly every teacher, professor, pundit or reporter lives a life of observation. They read, study and…observe. Comment. Wax eloquent on decisions never made. Lives never lived. Challenges never vanquished. Battles never won.

As a culture, we don’t engage. We don’t participate. We prefer to watch.

Our media reflects this. Our education system reflects this. Our politics reflect this. Our leaders reflect this.

The Voyeuristic Leader

I’m a big fan of learning from other’s mistakes (and successes.) But that can too easily become a cop out for not being willing to risk our own mistakes (or successes.)

For years, I hid in the safety of watching other people’s failures and successes. I learned a lot. I did.

But I didn’t experience very much. My failures were small and tepid. My wins were too heavily dependent on interpretation.

I finally realized, despite my close observation of others: A vicariously-lived life is a life un-lived.

What does a voyeuristic leader look like?

• A leader who has newly inherited the position of CEO. For years he or she may have been in a supporting role. They may have excelled in that role. But they never really needed to lead. They never really needed to stick their neck out. They never experienced risk.

Now, like turtles, they prefer the safety of their shell – whatever that might be for them.

• A new leader who, like Vladimir, has a “reality TV” based concept of how to lead. They see themselves successfully entering a new role. They kick butt and take names. They’ll correct the errors of the past and turn the ship around.

Before you know it, they are limping along. Hopefully with enough learned humility to look for rescue. But not always.

• The “Sod-Laying” leaders. These leaders appear to try. They look for what is working elsewhere. However, they don’t try to figure out how they need to grow as a leader. They aren’t interested in exploring what their team or organization really needs. They constantly believe that the “grass is always greener.”So, they cut sod from the neighbor’s lawn. They never learn to grow their own lawn.

You may know of others.

Becoming an Experiential Leader

We just celebrated the 4^th of July. I love the fact that our country was founded by explorers, inventors, and adventurers. Nearly all of the first colonists were people for whom life wasn’t working very well where they came from. So, they came here, to build a new life. The beginning of the American Dream.

That continues to this day. And, as then, the dream has always only been available to those who were willing to jump in and try.

Five Traits to Build to Stop Being a Voyeur

• Courage: The ability to do the right thing in the face of fear. Courage is often considered the “King of Virtues.” Without courage, none of the other virtues will be maintained in adversity.
• Humility: Humility is a leadership key that unlocks many chests of treasure. It allows us to fail. It allows us to learn. It allows us to ask for help. It allows us to experience success gracefully.
• Contrarianism: In today’s society where so many are coaches and so few are players – you have to be contrarian. You have to go against the grain. You have to be willing to be misunderstood. Conventional wisdom may not be wisdom at all. It may only be fear or complacency cleverly disguised.
• Teachableness & Reflection: It’s one thing to go to the “School of Hard Knocks.” It is something else to just get beat up. Too many people refuse to learn – from others or their own experiences. Cultivating the ability to grow is key. Young Vladimir ignored the advice of many Alaskans on the way to his adventure. Hopefully, he will be able to learn upon reflection.
• Perseverance: Sometimes indistinguishable from stubbornness. We’re stubborn when we aren’t teachable or reflective and keep doing the same stupid things. We’re perseverant when we learn and reflect and know the job is hard but persist anyway.

My Wish for Vladimir

I hope that Vladimir learns from his experience. I think he demonstrated the courage to act and a willingness to be contrary. But he seemed to lack humility and teachableness. Because of that, he wasn’t prepared to persevere.

I hope he is able to grow in those traits. Whether he comes back to Alaska, or starts a business, starts a family or whatever is next for him – I hope he never stops being willing to try.

Do you prefer to let others make the hard decisions? Do you prefer to move with the crowd? Is it easier to delay providing leadership than risk mistakes or failure?

Do you have voyeuristic tendencies? Are you ready to get engaged?

This article is a part of a series on Leadership Success Mindsets. You can find the previous articles here:

7 Ways to Develop a Perspective of Abundance

3 Powerful Practices for an Abundant Life 

5 Ways to Kick Perfectionism in the Teeth and Start Making Progress

The Best Way to Fail as A Leader (And How to Avoid It)

How to Know What You Are Worth