“It is always easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”

—Alfred Adler

Are we watching the end of democracy? 

That is the boogeyman that many in the media want us to fear. It’s the “If you don’t vote for me” threat that politicians use to attempt to rile up their base. 

Because fear – or anger – is good for the media business, it’s excellent for votes. 

But it is a poor political philosophy. 

Because it misrepresents where democracy comes from. 

Personal responsibility: The bedrock of democracy

Eleanor Roosevelt observed: “A democratic form of government, a democratic way of life, presupposes… an education for personal responsibility that too often is neglected.”

I have three children. They relate to ‘family governance’ as people tend to relate to government. They’ve done this from infancy:

· They want control. They didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else. But they expect (or at least hope) that others will ‘hop to it’ to meet their desires and demands. 

That’s the starting point for parenting. (And most on-line comment sections.) 

· If they can’t have control, they want a voice. They want democracy. All three want a ‘vote’ in family decisions. Again, there is little to no sense of personal responsibility or willingness to contribute. 

So, they settle for ‘democracy.’ Ultimately, the goal is still to get someone else to meet (or allow the uninhibited pursuit) of their desires and demands. 

· As parents, our goal is to help them mature. To teach them to assume responsibility for themselves. And also to be responsible for how they relate to others. The more they do both, the more choices and freedom they gain. 

Responsibility is the key.

My children see freedom as ‘being able to do whatever I want without consequence.’ 

That doesn’t lead to freedom. That leads to unfinished homework, fights, tears, and general kid chaos, which requires intervention. 

Here’s the leader’s challenge: Are we willing to take appropriate responsibility for our interests and act responsibly towards others? 

The greatest threat to democracy isn’t which president we elect.

Despite the rhetoric, neither president will or can do much to make us more democratic or free. 

Our system of government assumes that leaders would love power and try to take over. It was designed to prevent that from happening. That’s why our system, so far, works. Not because it prevents those attempted mini-coups. But because it contains and redirects them. 

Freedom doesn’t come from the government. It comes from how we live our lives. 

Lessons from leaders

I often meet with leaders who ‘have control’ but don’t have freedom. The more ‘control’ a leader attempts to accrue, the more effort and resources tend to go into ‘not losing control.’ 

When I work with leaders who are trying to scale or entrepreneurs who want to get ‘unstuck’ from the day-to-day – they often believe the path to their freedom requires taking on more control. But that never works. 

It is too hard to be effective and control everything all at the same time. The more control someone has doesn’t translate into freedom – for the leader or anyone else. 

The application to your leadership

The more we assume responsibility for ourselves, the more freedom we experience. Interestingly, the more we train and support our teams to be responsible and autonomous – the more freedom we all experience. 

The healthiest workplaces nurture a culture that shares this belief: Be responsible for yourself and willing to be responsible to (or help) others.

Slightly paraphrasing Robert Greenleaf, the originator of the term servant leadership: Servant leaders take responsibility for themselves. When they help others, they ensure their ‘help’ results in others becoming freer, more autonomous, and more responsible for themselves and others. 

This kind of freedom often feels like a paradox. As the former SEAL commander, Jocko Willink, says, “Discipline equals freedom.” 

The greatest personal freedom comes first from the careful shouldering of responsibilities. Second, it comes from empowering others to do the same as well. 

At any point we expect someone else to be responsible for us – this is the point where we give up freedom. 

The thought I want to leave with you is this: We decide daily how much freedom we want to be responsible to carry. 

If you are concerned about the state of democracy or the ideals of freedom, look to your areas of responsibility. Ensure that you are fully carrying those. Then, as a leader, help others to grow in their ability to take their responsibilities. 

Take good care,

Christian

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