Years ago, I worked with an organization that played a major role in the reconstruction effort in Kosovo. In my role, I chose who would and would not receive homes or reconstruction assistance in 15 communities.

Although I consulted with local leaders, and ultimately all decisions were approved by the governmental housing committee (of which I was a member), for the most part my decisions were the final word. I represented an enormous amount of money. I represented the future for many families and communities. Additionally, I directed other projects including starting schools and a public utility.

As a result, I had incredible influence. I could walk, uninvited, into anyone’s office and expect to be seen. I could call meetings with any group of leaders, at any level, and expect that they would be attended.

But, once we built all the houses, started all the schools, and completed all the projects, giving away all the money we had to give, I represented nearly nothing. In the final weeks of project closure, it became incredibly difficult to be seen by leaders or to call an effective meeting. I felt invisible and unimportant.

I realized then that I never really had influence. I merely represented access to resources. I wasn’t necessarily well-respected or regarded. I wasn’t necessarily being sought for my wisdom or insight. It became clear to me that there was a difference between leaders who are followed because of who they are and leaders who are followed simply because their positiion.

As a result, I began to explore what it was that gave a leader influence – regardless of position. I found that people ask four questions of their leaders. The strength of your influence is directly related to your followers’ answers to these questions:

1. Will you follow through? Will you do what you said? Do you keep your word?  There are many in leadership positions who make promises or communicate ‘vision.’ Few follow through. When you follow through – you build credibility. Credibility is influence.
2. Do I feel valued by you? Do you care about me? Leaders who communicate the value of others, gain others’ trust. People who feel valued are free to put their energy and creativity into productive, problem solving rather than defending their positions. People who feel valued trust that their interests are important. Communicated value builds loyalty.
3. Can I trust you? Will you embarrass me? Will you betray my trust or confidence? Are you going to take something away from me? Will you prevent me from feeling significant, safe or satisfied in some way? If I can trust you – this secures loyalty.
4. Does this matter to me? Is the particular cause or vision you share meaningful to me? Are you making a difference in an area I care about? Can I see my vision and values in yours?

If you want to grow your personal influence – beyond the placard on your door, the title on your business card, or your position on an organizational chart:

1. Follow through on whatever you commit to.
2. Demonstrate the value and significance of others.
3. Safeguard others’ desires, confidences, fears, weaknesses.
4. Excel at discovering, offering and building value