A primary obligation of leadership is personal development. We can only lead out of who we are. So, we need to grow who we are. Leaders who help others thrive are also ones who pursue their own growth.

For many, personal development is thought of as an “add-on”, for example: attending a training seminar, reading a book, hiring a coach, adding a new daily discipline, etc. But the incredible value of cutting things out of our lives, or pruning, is often overlooked.

There is a tree in our training room that started to die on one side. It looked sick and straggly. I came in one weekend and began to prune. Because it had been neglected for so long, it needed a lot of work. I cut off all the dead branches and pruned back individual branches that were healthy but weren’t contributing to the fullness of the whole.

When I was finished, the tree looked very sad. I was afraid I might have killed it. Instead, because I had narrowed the focus for its energy, it grew out. In a relatively short amount of time it was a full, lush, round tree again. It needed to be pruned so it could grow.

What Needs To Be Pruned?

Anything that doesn’t contribute to both the purpose we are trying to accomplish, and the quality of life we are trying to build, can be pruned.

Time-Wasting Activities

Last weekend I took a break from the Internet. I didn’t go online and I turned off the data on my phone. To my surprise, my personal world didn’t crash. I wasn’t faced with unending hours of tedium. Actually, I found myself playing more with my kids, getting caught up on chores, and reading. I began the new week feeling more refreshed.

It’s amazing how much relational time, personal growth time, and even just personal restoration time can be consumed by time wasters.

Are there one or two time wasters you can cut back?

Unproductive Investments

I’ve always been service oriented. For years, I gave away consulting and training services to organizations I believed might receive benefit. After many years, I reviewed the results. Disappointingly, only about 5% of the organizations and leaders actually implemented any of what I had given them.

So, I pruned. I’m now very selective about who receives pro-bono consulting and services. I don’t need the empty “slaps on the back” that accompany unproductive service. This has dramatically freed my time and energy to focus on clients who actually want to grow.

What projects are you working on that haven’t yielded fruit? Do they distract you from more fruitful endeavors? Consider your association memberships? Consider your volunteer activities?

Commitments

I have a rule I follow: I’m willing to engage in something 2 or 3 times before I pause to re-evaluate. If I don’t get a strong sense that my involvement will generate value, I stop. This rule helps me show care regarding the commitments I agree to take on. Many commitments are a waste of time.

I pruned. I became more selective in my commitments. I currently serve on several boards and occasionally allow myself to be recruited to a workgroup or committee. However, I’m careful to not agree to groups that show little promise of producing value.

What good commitments have you made that aren’t yielding good value? Is there anything you can change about the lack of yield? If not, should you prune them?

Relationships

This is a tough area to prune; but also has the greatest impact. Some people in our lives are negative or pessimistic. They like to complain about their family life, or workplace. As Zig Ziglar says, “Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.” Do we really need to discover any more faults? What we need in our lives is more “good-finders.”

I have rigorously pruned my relationships. I try to be respectful and honoring to those that I’ve pruned. With friends, I just spend less time with them. With professional relationships, I only spend the time required. This has often brought a sense of personal grief. I really value some of these people; but my time is limited, so I need to fill it with people who are encouraging, creative, hopeful and growth-minded.

Who in your life is negative, discourages growth, or takes time that might be used to make growth possible? Are you willing to spend less time with that person? Is there someone who is more “life-giving” that you could replace that relationship with?

How to Prune Well

With trees, pruning dead branches doesn’t require much care. However, pruning live branches creates some trauma for the tree and requires healing. Care needs to be taken to not harm the tree, itself.

In our lives, pruning things like TV or Facebook can probably be done with little to no negative consequences. However, pruning commitments and relationships needs to be done carefully, with respect and regard. I’m careful to end commitments well, wrapping up my obligation.

I’ve learned to be careful to avoid passing quick judgement on a commitment or activity. Just because it isn’t a good place for me, doesn’t mean others aren’t growing or thriving there. So, it’s important to differentiate my experience from others’.

I’ve also learned that others don’t have an obligation to me to be creative, energetic, engaged, etc. If I have relationships with people who aren’t that way, I don’t need to judge them for it. I may limit the amount of time I spend with them; but I don’t need to devalue them.

What are one or two things in your life that are preventing, or limiting, your growth or fruitfulness? What can you begin to remove today or this week?