Why Acting Imperfectly is More Important

We have two young boys at home, ages 3 and 1. One of my early lessons, as their father, was discovering that a child’s default setting is to act. Children don’t wait to be acted upon. And, even though children require a tremendous amount of acting upon, they will often resist it and act towards their own desires and impulses. Children, even when they most need assistance, don’t see themselves as helpless; instead, they want to do it themselves.

This basic nature, or desire, to take initiative and act is a good thing. My goal is to nurture it and help our children learn how to act in ways that are safe, appropriate and thoughtful. I want to avoid teaching them to wait to be acted upon. That’s dependency; or learned helplessness.

There are times where it’s important to recognize when we are dependent and to be able and willing to reach out for help. However, there’s a critical difference between having a necessary moment or season of dependence versus having a consistent mindset of dependence; this is especially true for leaders.

Helplessness hamstrings leadership.

Unfortunately, many of us learn along the way that it isn’t safe, or accepted, to act. So, we wait.

We wait for more information. We wait for a better set of circumstances. We wait until we have the right people on board. We wait until we have everything in order.

Sometimes this waiting manifests as perfectionism. Other times it looks like control. Still others might view it as “firefighting.” And some people call it “not being hasty.”

Opportunities pass by. Resources are not utilized.

The Leader Isn’t Leading

When I coach leaders, one of the most difficult, and limiting, mindsets to address is the “non-acting leader.”

Usually, fear is behind the lack of action; however, sometimes it’s just laziness. Far more often it’s inhibition. Some examples include:

• The leader is afraid of her team not performing to expectations, so she tries to do it all herself.
• The leader is afraid of someone leaving and, because of this, doesn’t address problem behavior.
• The supervisor is afraid that an idea won’t work and, as a result, doesn’t take initiative.
• The manager is afraid that, if he delegates work he’s good at but others can do, he might not succeed when taking on a new challenge.

I was someone who struggled to act for years. Sometimes I still do. Fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of not creating the “best thing ever” all combine to inhibit me from acting.

Success, not Perfection

I’ve experienced growth by focusing on these areas:

• Stop making “the great” the enemy of “the good” I learned to accept a B grade. As opposed to getting things 100% right, I now work up to 80% and call it good. For most people, and most jobs, the remaining 20% is unappreciated or unacknowledged anyways. When I work with my clients, I strive for 100%. However, in writing articles, designing a website, cleaning out my car, etc. I get to 80% and call it good.
• Start setting small stretch goals Writing a weekly article was scary for me. What if I couldn’t keep up? Marketing was unknown territory. What if I was rejected? I started setting small goals that stretched me. Accomplishing the small goals gave me the confidence to stretch further.
• Surround yourself with support I hire coaches who push and challenge me. I meet with peer mentors monthly. I read books that challenge my assumptions and inhibitions. I spend time with people who are a few steps ahead of me.
• Burn your boats At numerous times in history, military leaders would take their army to enemy territory and, as soon as they landed, burn their own boats. This communicated and ensured the only way home was victory. While I don’t actually burn boats, I have taken money that would otherwise represent security and invested it heavily in professional and organizational development. Each one of these investments forces me to hustle. There have been winning and losing investments; but I’ve doubled revenues every year for the last three years. It’s hard to argue with results.

My Scary New Goal

I want to publish a book. Normally, I’d be afraid to attempt this because I think, “What if it wasn’t a New York Times Bestseller?” “What if no one reads it?” “What if people don’t like it?”

But, I finally decided I was tired of all the “what ifs” and decided to do it. I’ve invested heavily (burned boats), hired an experienced and published author who’s coaching a group of us (surrounded myself with support) through a book proposal. He creates weekly assignments (small stretch goals) and I work on those assignments until I feel like I’ve hit 80% (stopped making ‘great’ the enemy of the good).

What is one thing you keep putting off or avoiding? What is one thing you can do to act? When will you do that one thing?

Incidentally, the working title of my new book is: Good Conflict: How to Use Conflict to Become a Better Leader and Build a Stronger Organization.

My coach doesn’t like the title. So, the title’s at 80% right now. I’ll come back to it later.

Just “putting it out there” confirms my commitment. It’s a bit scary…I’ll keep you posted!