I began this morning in a funky mood. I felt awash in a soupy mix of toxic emotions.

At first, I took inventory of my feelings and accepted that this was going to be “one of those days.” I prepared to surrender and allow myself to be washed away by the current.

Then my wife came into the room, along with our one-year-old son. He was crying and being ornery; which, initially, just added to my messy state of malaise. Then our older, three-year-old, son woke up and began shrieking and demanding attention. It was at this point that realized I needed to shift things—if not for myself, for my family.

I decided, “I’m going to have a ‘Wonderful Day’!”

As I write this, it’s 10am.

So, this day is still relatively young. However, I can testify that I’m well on my way to having a “Wonderful Day”. Throughout my life, I’ve been repeatedly swept away by whatever mood presented itself first thing in the morning, or sometime during the day. Intellectually, I believed it possible to control my emotions. But, on a practical level, I allowed myself to be a victim of any passing state of mind.

In recent years, I’ve learned to change, not just how I react to emotions but to authentically change my mood, and create the day I want. I can honestly say this still takes effort; and it isn’t natural to me. But it works consistently.

Here’s what I’m doing today to create a “Wonderful Day”. Perhaps this will be helpful to you. I’m not going to pretend to know whether everything was the right or best choice. I’m simply going to share how I shifted:

• I didn’t blurt out everything I was thinking. Waking up in a foul mood made it easy to blame my wife for things, find fault, be impatient with our children and to entertain anxious thoughts. I recognized the high tendency for me to be critical, cutting, or even cruel to people I care about; so, I bit my tongue.
• I reached out to friends. I have a group of friends that I feel comfortable being open with. I sent them a quick text message saying, “I’m feeling _____ today; but I choose ______ for today instead.” This was helpful for me because, while I didn’t trust myself to communicate this to my wife, I needed to get it out to someone. It also began the process of making myself accountable and owning my mood.
• I accepted, but didn’t tolerate, what I was feeling. I didn’t waste time thinking, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Or, “This is wrong. I should have a different attitude.” I simply accepted it. I felt angry, resentful and anxious. But, I knew I didn’t want a day defined by those attitudes.
• I chose to serve. I chose a couple of extra tasks I thought might serve my wife, or children, as we all got ready for the day. I’ll be honest: my new attitude wasn’t quite humming yet during these “acts of service”. The “new mood engine” was sputtering and starting pretty rough. But, it was starting.
• I created a mental list of 10 things, that happened this morning, I was grateful for. By the time I got to 10, I found I had turned a corner. It is extremely easy to sit and stew on a list of frustrations, disappointments and concerns. I chose differently.
• On the way to work I described, to myself, out loud, the kind of day today was going to be. Literally, I said, “It’s going to be a wonderful day!” (I repeated this a few times.) Then, I said, “I’m going to bring value to my clients today. I’m going to find ways to serve those I meet. This is going to be a profitable and fruitful day.” Sure, it’s weird. And I felt self-conscious doing it. And probably, because it felt weird and I felt self-conscious, it was successful in shifting my mood. I was jumping out of the “mood rut” I was in.
• I persevered to maintain my morning routine. In a previous article, I described my morning routine in detail. I was late to work today (yes, on top of everything else) because the road conditions were bad. So, rather than forfeit the time I normally dedicate to these valuable morning habits, I decided the extra driving time would be put to good use. And, sure enough, it gave me time to work through some of the topics listed above.
• I decided what I’d focus on the remainder of this day. I’ll make a point of pursuing the next right thing to do, and bringing value to those around me.

Here’s how it’s helped already: As I neared the end of writing this article, I accidentally hit the wrong keys and deleted the document. No, I hadn’t saved a draft of it. And it hadn’t auto-saved in the folder where I created the file. I felt a flash of temptation to just quit: the article, and the day. But I had decided not to allow setbacks, even during a seemingly unyielding day, determine my mood.

A quick search of the Internet provided information on how to perform a deeper search for auto-saved documents. (Wow, I’m glad I’m not still using my old Brother processor…something else to be grateful for!) Using my new knowledge, I found and recovered the file without giving up any hope for a “Wonderful Day.”

I share this to encourage you. It’s important as leaders, family members and neighbors that we don’t allow circumstances to dictate our mood or our days. I can’t predict if “things” will go well, or whether “things” will continue to be challenging, today. However, I can determine that, regardless, I will have a wonderful day and bring value to those I meet. I hope I’ve done this for you. (And now I’m going to save this file!)

What can YOU do today (or tomorrow) to have a “Wonderful Day”?