I’m a little embarrassed as I write this. But I had a problem. It was an obvious problem. I mean, a really obvious problem. Except to me.

Actually, it wasn’t just me. A lot of other people saw it as well but missed it. People more qualified than I am. Even people who are trained to see, fix or avoid those kinds of problems.

But just like me – they assumed that because the problem existed and had been tolerated – it should exist and be tolerated. It was normal.

At first, I actually did think it was a problem. I asked about it. But everyone said it was normal. “This is what happens.” It still seemed like a problem to me. But because they accepted it – so did I.

A few times, other people pointed out the problem to me.

“It’s normal,” I said. I was actually thinking, “I knew that seemed like a problem!” But I had already accepted the problem as normal. I was invested in being normal. Fixing normal felt like work.

For years.

Normal, often, is not. Normal can be misleading. Normal can be dangerous.

We should develop a healthy capacity to challenge Normal.

The Normal Problem

This was my problem: Seven years ago when I bought my house, the kitchen had been updated. That was something we liked.

I used the dishwasher for the first time. When the dishwasher drained, it drained its dirty water directly out of the air gap. The air gap sticks up out of my sink. You know, next to the sprayer thing.

So, we ran the dishwasher. It drained. Dirty water ran out into the sink.

I had never seen this happen before and assumed there was a problem. But I was told, “This is normal.”

It didn’t seem normal. But the person who said it seemed normal. So, I assumed normal was normal. I assumed that normal was acceptable.

It never stopped seeming weird or unhygienic to me. But since it was “normal” I didn’t investigate further.

Then the dishwasher broke.

When the new dishwasher was installed the workers told us our drains were clogged. That’s why it was draining out of the air gap. They couldn’t finish the installation. They took a look at our pipes it but it wasn’t their job to fix them.

We needed to fix it to use the new dishwasher. I figured I could fix it.

As I looked at the pipes and tubes beneath the sink I realized they seemed kind of jerry-rigged. However, since a number of professional installers, plumbers, and housing inspectors had looked at them over the years – I assumed this was how it was supposed to be.

The drains weren’t clogged – but I cleaned them all out just in case. That didn’t fix it.

I consulted the oracles of DIY on Google and YouTube. They didn’t help.

Frustrated, I bought all new parts to start replacing everything under there. But they didn’t fit.

Then I spotted something.

In two minutes I turned around an $8 part and everything worked fine.

The air gap had been installed backward.

No one questioned it. They just worked around it.

That’s why nothing worked. That’s why none of the hoses fit right. That’s why everything had been jerry-rigged.

After the 7 years we lived there, dirty water no longer floods our sink after every dishwasher load.

I feel a little bit stupid. But the sink stays clean now.

My Lesson Learned

Here’s the deal: The drains were visibly working wrong. Even a non-plumber like myself could look under the sink and see it had been jerry-rigged.

But everyone said it was normal. So, we accepted it as such.

Instead of looking at causes people focused on symptoms.

It’s a reminder to me to trust my common sense. Trust my gut. Not a claim that something that seems wrong isn’t. I’ll listen to those claims. But I’ll require evidence.

Your Lesson Learned

I see this scenario take place in many, many organizations. The most common are:

• Slow or no growth.
• Unhealthy patterns of conflict.
• Ineffective approaches to communication.
• High staff turnover.
• Poor sales or customer retention.
• No (or a weak) leadership bench.
• Management tolerance of poor staff performance or behaviors.
• Poorly functioning boards.

“It’s normal.”

“That how things are in this economy.”

“You have to understand, it’s always been this way.”

“This is what happens in this industry / community.”

Challenge it. You know it seems wrong. You feel it in your gut.

Trust your gut. Investigate it. Make “normal” defend itself.

Don’t spend another 7 years letting the dirty water of “normal” prevent you from making what may be small changes to turn things around.

DIY Manual

1. Pay attention to your gut.
2. Investigate for evidence – don’t accept opinions. “What evidence do you have to back up that statement?”
3. Don’t waste time worrying about rocking a boat that is probably already leaking and listing.
4. Identify the cause. Don’t get distracted by fixing or tolerating symptoms.
5. Fix it or get someone to help you.

Don’t make it any more complicated than that.