When I was a child, I often played in a nearby forest by a stream. It was the clearest and sweetest water. Sometimes, either I or my dog would run through the stream. This would stir up the sand and sediment from the bottom.

I remember laying down and watching the water clear. Some sediment was carried away in the current. Some would more quickly drop back to the bottom. Some would slowly settle out.

Until it settled out, it wasn’t the clearest and sweetest water. It would be dirty, full of whatever happened to fall into it from the forest. I couldn’t see through it. I wouldn’t drink from it.

Reflecting on my own life, it can be easy to feel like the water is frequently stirred up: Family. Work. Ambitions. Obligations. Worries. Concerns.

In fact, when I’m in the forest now, I’m usually on a mission. I’m getting my miles in, I’m getting something done. I don’t take time to watch or reflect on the water or anything else.

I can get to a place where I get so accustomed to everything being stirred up – I forget that things don’t have to stay that way.

Staying stirred up, I can no longer really “see” through my own life. What drives me? What am I really trying to accomplish? Why does this seem so important to me? Why did that provoke such an emotional response?

If my life, or the service I offer others, is constantly stirred up – I can no longer offer clear and sweet water. What I offer is all mixed up with the sediment of my life.

That isn’t what I want to offer my family, my clients or anyone else around me.

When I recover awareness of how stirred up I’ve allowed things to become, here is what I do to allow the waters in my life settle:

Time: I need to take time to allow settling and clearing to happen. I might do different things, walk, pray, meditate, read, journal – whatever. But it takes time. If I force any of these activities, they become just one more thing to get done and out of the way.

I have to block time in my calendar. Give it a priority. Protect it. Otherwise, I never settle.

Space/Environment: I need to be in the right environment. I have to be in a place where things aren’t being stirred back up. My office can be a good place. There is a coffee shop, with a corner I can hide in, that is often a good place for me. Certain kinds of music seem to help me focus and settle.

I can’t just settle in any environment. I need to create or find one that protects my easily divided attention.

Letting Go: When I reflect on everything that is stirred up in my life, I start to see how much of it really isn’t that important. Or it isn’t that urgent. Or I can’t control it anyway.

It’s a helpful time to reflect on the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

I let go of what I don’t need to carry. I let it settle.

One Thing: There is a well-known story about Jesus visiting two sisters named Martha and Mary. The older sister, Martha, was very busy, presumably, with all the tasks of being a hostess. Her younger sister, Mary, was just spending time with Jesus.

Martha grew angry and impatient with Mary. Out of her frustration, she asked Jesus to tell Mary to lend a hand and start helping out around the house (an awkward request to place on a guest!).

Jesus observed, “Martha, you are worried and concerned about many things – but only one thing is needed right now. Mary has chosen that one thing.”

The author and entrepreneur, Gary Keller, uses this powerful question,

“What is the one thing I can do such that by doing it everything else become easier or unnecessary?”

Learning to identify and focus on the one thing has, literally, changed my life.

I try to ask that question when I plan out my year, when I start my mornings, when I look at projects. Focus.

Settling Your Water

I don’t know what you want to come out of your life. I assume, if you are a leader and you’ve taken the time to read this, you want good things to come out of your life. You want to have lived a life of value.

Take time to allow yourself to settle.

What is one thing you can do to allow yourself to settle today?