I’m reducing clutter. Pruning back. Throwing away. Saying “No”.

Not because of excess but because ‘stuff’ was getting in the way.

For example, my garage doubles as a workshop. Jamming more into the same space doesn’t help me be more productive or happier. But getting rid of things has. And then I have room for what is more important.

At work, I’m transforming my office into a studio for recording a new podcast and YouTube videos to promote my new book. (Stay tuned!) This meant hauling away boxes of ‘stuff’ to the shredders, the garbage, and donations.

It’s not just stuff. I’ve declined more opportunities than ever, and not just unappealing ones. Some were valuable. But in the big picture, they would have been in the way.

Emotional clutter is more complicated than physical clutter

Emotional clutter is more challenging to clean than physical clutter. Specifically, things that I built that were part of a vision. Things where I had invested finances, time, and effort.

We get tied to nostalgia, ideas, methods, relationships, preferences, or habits. Some of which used to have value. Some we only hoped would. But now, some of these things are holding us back.

Freedom in discarding

“I can’t believe how free I feel.” A client was talking to me about a situation he recently addressed. He’s started making a series of overdue, difficult decisions. Most have included saying “no” or “no longer.”

He didn’t haphazardly start chopping away at things. He was thoughtful. He had to wrestle with apprehension, second-guessing, and assorted fears. But the result has been a feeling of relief, not just a momentary one. Long-stuck issues are finally starting to unjam. New progress is being made.

Questions to ask: 

• What isn’t working, perhaps, has never worked, but I keep trying to make it work?
• What don’t I use anymore? What resources are required to keep this?
• What is toxic or harmful to myself or others?
• What is a distraction from what is truly important?
• What has been outgrown?
• What am I doing or keeping to satisfy someone else’s expectations even though it doesn’t bring value?
• What prevents the creation of or even destroys value?

“Having it all” is a form of emotional hoarding

My initial examples mainly were about physical things. But I’ve found that every good thing that has come into my life has required letting go of something else.

When I married and then had kids, both experiences came with significant change. Most of which I wasn’t expecting. Some of which I fought to hang onto. None of which were more valuable than what I gained. I had to let go.

In my business, growth has always come with letting go. Letting go of ideas I had about how business or money should work. Projects that had no real future. Relationships or collaborations that weren’t fruitful. Letting go made room for growth.

It all became easier when I stopped trying to have or keep it all. Instead, I’m learning to focus on what is most valuable.

Here’s what I received from letting go

• More room: Physically, emotionally, financially, socially, etc.
• Progress: Many leaders feel stuck or limited. Often, this is entirely due to self-limiting beliefs. Many of these beliefs cause leaders to hang on to something that is not serving them well.
• Become more generous: An interesting, paradoxical side effect of letting go, saying no, and having limits is an increased ability and enjoyment of giving. As we become less tied down, it’s easier to give.
• Step into abundance: The more you let go, the easier it is to accept or receive. This is difficult to explain because it is tied to deep mindsets. The simple fact is, that letting go opens the doors to receiving. This is a virtuous circle. When you have this mindset, the more you receive, the more open-handed you can be.

There’s more. But I think you get my point.

My wife is one of the best people I know regarding understanding, releasing, and receiving. She constantly gives things away. Sometimes, she’s decluttering. Sometimes she gives gifts. Sometimes, she helps others out.

Earlier in our marriage, all this giving created enormous stress for me. But then I noticed that my wife always seems to be on the receiving end. (I have never met someone who wins more door prizes or lotteries!) All kinds of things and opportunities flow her way. She doesn’t seem to worry, stress, or even try to create opportunities.

She keeps what makes sense to keep for as long as it makes sense to her to keep it. Then she passes it along, especially when making room for something new.

She’s probably reading this and thrilled that I’m starting to “get it.” (Now, she’ll probably also want me to take care of that one box in the garage she keeps pointing out….)

My next article might have to be about when your things are in someone else’s way…. 

Take good care,

Christian

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