A friend of mine told me about a billionaire he knows. This man made his money quickly. He sold a business, and now he’s set. He has all the ‘things’. He’s a success.

But he’s bored. And depressed. Success, at least measured by net worth, has left him empty.

For many, this is a time of year for goal-setting and resolutions. Many are reflecting on 2023. And they are considering what they’d like 2024 to be about.

As people set goals, many tend to overlook this question: What does success look like for you? 

What is success?

We often set goals to lose weight, earn more, drop this habit, or start that one…but for what reason? That’s not always clear.

That’s a problem. Because we often confuse a method for the goal.

For example, people don’t try to lose weight purely to lose weight. Instead, we lose weight to gain or keep the attention of someone. Or to improve our health. Or feel better about ourselves.

What if we lose the weight…and don’t achieve what we wanted?

It’s the same with earning more, or changing habits…Is it to help us gain or keep the attention of someone? To solve a financial (or other) problem? To bolster our confidence? Something else?

What if we earn more, or change the habit, but the goal eludes us? Maybe the attention we do get isn’t the kind we want. Perhaps achieving the goal introduced us to a new set of unanticipated problems. Maybe we don’t feel any better about ourselves.

Often, what we think are goals, are just methods. We don’t differentiate the means from the end.

So, what does success mean to you?

Six questions to help you define success

Here are some questions that I think are interesting. They help us clarify what we are trying to achieve. I’d encourage you to set aside a few minutes and chew on these. I suspect they’ll give you a different perspective on what you’d like 2024 to be about.

1.What values and principles are most important to me? 

• • What is one way that I could express each this year? 

2.When was a time when I felt most successful and fulfilled? 

• • What was it about that time that made me feel that way? 
  • What was it I did that helped make this experience possible? 

3.Who do I hope to become? 

• • What kind of person would I like to be known as? 
  • How would I like others to experience me? 

4.What contribution do I hope to make? To whom? 

5.In what ways might success look different in different parts of my life? (Family, health, spiritual, friends, contribution, financial, etc.) 

• • Does success in any one area depend on success in another? 
  • Can I succeed in one area without succeeding in another? Will that feel like success to me?
  • Is there any one area of success that is most important to me? What makes it more meaningful?

6.How will I measure progress toward success? How would I know I’m ‘getting closer’ or ‘I’ve arrived?’

Simple. Not easy. 

These aren’t complicated questions. But they aren’t always easy to answer. Sometimes, we realize we aren’t sure what we want. Maybe we discover that we’ve absorbed someone else’s definition of success and don’t have our own. It could be that when we are very clear about what we want, we aren’t sure we’re comfortable with how it sounds.

Or…maybe we have clarity. We just need to start acting.

I hope that these questions help you gain clarity for the coming year. That you achieve success and that it is full of meaning and purpose.

Take good care,

Christian

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