My oldest son, Elijah, is three years old. He loves to have us draw pictures for him.

One day, he ran up to me with a blank sheet of paper and a marker and said, “Draw, Daddy!”

Usually, he’s specific about what he wants me to draw: a snake, a spider, a duck. But, this time he didn’t seem to care what I drew. And then, he yanked the paper away from me just after I made the first few marks.

He’s three. I didn’t think too much about it. But then, he ran back to me with another blank piece of paper and said, “Draw, Daddy!” I started to draw another animal, and shortly after I started, he said, “Thank you!” jerked the paper away, and ran off. This repeated five or six times. So, finally, I asked him what he was doing.

“I’m recycling!” he said excitedly.

Sure enough, he had found a cardboard box somewhere and was conscientiously filling it with newly used paper. I guessed they were teaching recycling at his day care. He, evidently, had missed the general concept of reducing use. I thought it was cute. Then, I pondered the right parental response.

As I pondered, he finally reached a point of ‘enough’ paper in the box. He took the papers out of the box, arranged them on the floor and said, “Play with me, Daddy!” Then I got it. They used recycled paper for games in their classroom. He wanted to play a game; but he believed he needed recycled paper for the game. So he created the recycled paper.

My fatherly heart burst with pride that he had planned out that little project. I still didn’t know what the right parental response was, in terms of teaching him about recycling. I did figure out I should play the game with him.

People Can Self-Manage When They Know Why

People want to know, “Why?” This is not a millennial thing. It is universally true; unless, people have been damaged in some way. Even crabby, old, baby-boomers wanted to know, “Why?” back in their day. My guess is: they still do.

Most leaders mistakenly focus on what. They are missing it. They should focus on why. When leaders focus on what, people develop their own rationales. Most often, they’ll arrive at the wrong conclusion. This is not their fault.

Time invested in explaining why helps others apply the what more judiciously.

When we invest in why, those we lead need less of our input and oversight; which frees up our time.

Robert Cialdini, of Arizona State University, and the author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion has demonstrated that explaining why is a powerful tool for impacting behavior. He conducted a number of studies that illustrate this. In one such study, student researchers would ask to cut into a line of people waiting to make copies. When they asked, “Can I cut in line?” they were, most often, refused. However, if they said, “Can I cut in line? I’m in a hurry,” they were frequently allowed to cut in. They provided a why.

Values – The Heart of Why

Organizational focus on values often falls short of becoming the powerful, motivating tool it could be. This is because most consultants, HR teams and marketing departments know the what of planning. They say, “Let’s do a Values Exercise,” but don’t know why it should be done.

I do values exercises because it helps define why things are important to an organization. It gives reason and guidance to the what, the things we do. Our mission statements should be ways to manifest our values. Our policies should help describe behavior that demonstrates these values. Strategy should be developed with why in mind. If used well, strategy is an extraordinarily powerful tool for focusing leadership, filtering priorities, and improving decision-making.

Practical Whys

Sometimes the why is pretty practical. There is an old story about a young mother who was learning to cook the Christmas ham. Her young daughter asked her why she cut the ends off each side of the ham. The young mother replied, “It makes it taste better! Your grandma makes the best ham ever, and this is how she always made it.” The young girl didn’t find the answer to be persuasive; so, she went and asked her grandmother. Grandma answered, “I don’t know, it’s just how my mother always made the ham. I never thought to ask.” The girl finally went to her great-grandmother and asked about the ham. “Oh my!” exclaimed her great-grandmother. “Back in those days, our oven was so small, we couldn’t fit a whole ham into it. I had to cut the ends off just to get it into the oven!”

When our staff understands the why behind certain policies or practices, they’re able to exercise better discretion when faced with new situations. We often find staff resolutely doing what they were trained to do; even when it’s counterproductive. Management should never fault staff for trying to figure out why. We also shouldn’t blame them if we’ve trained them to stop wondering.

1. What is one strategic area where explaining the why will help create greater alignment and focus on your team or organization?
2. What is one policy or procedure where your staff would be better served if they understood the why behind it?
3. Is there anything you’re doing and don’t know why? What will you do about that?