Most business problems are personal problems.

I first encountered that statement from Michael Port. It stopped me. A six-word summary of many of my client experiences. And, my own journey.

It is a minority of the time that a leader’s primary challenge is technical or skill-based. In fact, there is no correlation between high skills or knowledge and the ability to lead well. It’s almost disturbing how little you actually need to know to lead others.

My kids have been successfully competing for leadership in my house since they arrived!

There is a dramatic difference with getting people to follow you and knowing what to do with them.

One of my early surprises as a coach and consultant was that most of the time I spent with clients was really addressing (directly or indirectly) personal issues:

• Why is a once successful business failing? Often emotional and ego investment in a past strategy won’t allow someone to shift while there is still time and cash available.
• Why do so few organizations plan, in a timely way, for leadership succession? Perhaps because it raises questions for the current leader about identity, control, purpose, and personal value.
• Why is turnover so high? Perhaps it is because a leader doesn’t generate respect and connection with those he or she leads.

A meaningful, but small, reason for any of the above is that a leader may not know how. That happens. But if a leader persists in allowing the excuse of not knowing how for any length of time – we’re back to some underlying personal issue.

As I reflected on this, I saw that this was true in my life as well. My own largest steps forward in business and in leadership were a direct result of personal growth.

• Why didn’t I confront a client who was exploring an unethical decision?
• Why didn’t I address the behavior of a client who treats his employees with disdain?
• Why didn’t I follow-up with a client who was falling behind in their efforts?

Personal issues.

I would say, generally, it was when I confronted some form of fear, pride or unforgiveness that I was able to make the largest steps forward in business.

This is one of the reasons that I love working with leaders so much. I have the opportunity to work with them and help them grow into “bigger” people: More confident, more focused, more at peace, more effective in their lives.

It is also one of the reasons I love being an entrepreneur. Along with everything that’s truly fantastic about it – I’m also confronted with regular disappointments, frustrations, and difficulties. Each of those is a wonderful situation for personal growth.

It’s like being able to go to the personal development gym, every day, to work on my character and growth. You have this opportunity as well.

My hope for you, in this article, is that you’ll find permission to cultivate and nurture the only real tool a leader has – his or her own self.

Here is a list of areas, for personal growth, that I see have some of the biggest impacts on leadership and business. As you read it, don’t try to tackle all of it. Just pick one area that seems to jump out at you.

• Identity and Self-Worth: For many people, particularly executives and entrepreneurs, what we do or accomplish is part of the algorithm we use to answer the questions: “Who am I?” “Am I valuable?”

I’m convinced that these two questions drive most leadership decisions. The degree to which I base my identity on a temporary status (CEO of anything) or a temporary achievement – is the degree to which I’ve built it on unstable soil. A leader who rethinks and grounds his or her identity and self-worth in something that transcends immediate positions, goals or accomplishments is less easily shaken, reactive or fearful.

Taking the time to develop deeply grounded answers to those questions will free you.

• Character: Ethics is usually left to some HR workshop no one wants to go to. Talking about morality feels stifling and religious and controlling. However, it’s rare that organizations led by honest, respectful, brave, caring, humble and accountable leaders do poorly.

It’s rare for leaders who entertain or encourage any level of dishonesty, disrespect, avoidance, disregard, arrogance or lack of accountability do well over the long haul. Popular portrayals of business being necessarily “dog-eat-dog” or “heartless” or “unethical” are inaccurate. It’s not that organizations aren’t that way. But they don’t flourish, sustainably, that way.

Those behaviors provoke unhealthy conflict, drive the avoidance of addressing important issues, cost customers and lose the respect of others. Organizations that maintain high levels of success over the long term are typically distinguished by leaders and cultures of high-character.

Taking time to adjust and come into alignment with the kind of character we want from ourselves or others will have a direct business impact.

• Personal Relationships: Assuming you aren’t a sociopath, a significant amount of your mental bandwidth and emotional energy is impacted by the quality of your interpersonal relationships. Family, friends, co-workers.

Taking the time to nurture those relationships, to address unresolved issues, to address “delayed relational maintenance,” to forgive people who’ve hurt you, will free you up mentally and emotionally to be your best at work.

Fixing or ditching unhealthy, negative or toxic relationships protects you from clouding your emotions and distracting you mentally.

• Skills: Ok, I know I said skills aren’t the big thing earlier. But leaders who are constantly sharpening old skills or developing new ones are very rich, very interesting and often more humble people to be around.

Leaders who, like my 5-year old graduating from pre-school, announce, “I know everything now!” are difficult to be around. They limit growth for themselves and others. It’s funny when 5-year old thinks he knows everything. Not a 50-year old.

A local inspiration of mine is a man named Thomas. He’s in his 70’s. He recently completed his Doctorate in Psychology. He was already a licensed counselor.  He was also, already, an attorney. And a mediator. Every time I talk to him, he’s excited about something new that he is learning. He is one of those people, who to my mind, has few reasons to be humble. But is. He’s always growing, learning and developing new value to offer others.

• Margin: It is a trait of ambitious people to drive with the pedal pressed to the floor. Metaphorically speaking. (I don’t know how they really drive. But it would be interesting to study to see if there is a link!)

I find the ability to create and maintain healthy margin, in terms of rest, or finances, or energy, or time or anything else is a very rare skill.

Interestingly enough, I probably hear, “I don’t have time to…” more from clients running smaller, simpler operations. When I work with clients of firms that are much larger and more complicated, by orders of magnitude, it’s clear they are busy.

But more of them have learned how to make time. Knowing how to create and allow margin is a defining attribute of the most successful. Burning through it is not.

• Finances: Financial pressures are some of the toughest to deal with. You cannot and will not lead as well when you are trying to figure out how to make it through the next payroll. You will not be as creative. You will not take the required risks. You won’t treat people as well.

You just won’t be as happy.

The most focused and productive leaders know how to live within their means, how to track and control their own expenses and appetites and how to avoid the (very powerful) pull to keep up with the ever-increasingly expensive Joneses.

• Spiritual Health: By spiritual health, I mean our relationship with ultimate meaning, with mystery, with the uncontrollable, with God.

As an expert in leadership, I’ve read and been exposed to an awful lot of the leadership thinking out there. The great majority of leadership scholars and authors (past and contemporary) regularly refer to the spiritual. To avoid our spiritual health is to avoid a major part of who we are.

When my life and choice are in alignment with God, I find that I’m more at peace. I find myself refocused on my marriage. I find that I have more patience for my children. I find that I care more about my clients than I care about getting contracts.

It helps me recenter and recalibrate my definitions of success. For a driven person, like myself, this has been important. Probably heart-attack preventing.

We Can Only Lead Out of Who We Are

When I train leaders, I often say, “You can only lead out of who you are. Therefore, defining and nurturing who you are is a great obligation of leadership.” I don’t mean this in a selfish, indulgent sense.

I mean that leadership comes out of us. So, I owe it to others to pay attention to what is in me.

As a side benefit, my business grows. But even when I struggle, I’m in a better place and have more to offer.

What about you? What is one area that you feel like you need to address? What do you need to do to begin that process?

Take good care,

Christian

P.S. If you would like to talk with me about how you can make steady, noticeable progress in your own personal growth contact me at christian@vantageconsulting.org or 907 522-7200.