I once spoke with a Chamber of Commerce leadership group on the topic of mentoring. I introduced the idea that, for most leaders, there are two times in our careers when we most need mentors in our lives, but we are least likely to have them.

The first is at the beginning of our leadership experience. The learning curve is steep; and we have no way of knowing what help we need, or who to ask.

The second is at the peak, or nearing the peak, of our leadership success. We follow the trend, amongst highly successful leaders, to isolate and withdraw. This is usually tied to the fear of being known as someone who doesn’t have all the answers; or, it’s tied to a discomfort with success, influence, or power.

When my presentation was complete, the soon-departing CEO of a large corporation approached me. She adamantly disagreed with what I had shared; and, insisted instead that it’s necessary to be “lonely at the top”.

Unfortunately, she was wrong on two counts:

1. She believed that “the top” necessarily meant “above everyone” instead of “among everyone.”
2. She misinterpreted the feelings that lead to isolation as an actual need to isolate.

So, she loved and, simultaneously, hated her pedestal.

Two Kinds of Leadership

The LEADER-FIRST Leader

When we believe that leadership is about obtaining and maintaining power and status, then image management is crucial. This is the most common perception of leadership; and, very few people escape the pull of this lie.

People are impressed by power, accomplishment and fame. If we have more power, accomplishment or fame than someone else, others may be impressed…for a time. However, since the focus of those impressed is on power, accomplishment and fame, they are really seeing those things, not us.

This leads to two responses:

Response #1: People respond with envy or jealousy, as they feel threatened by our accomplishments. These people will either stop following us, or look for ways to undermine our leadership.

Response #2: People become infatuated. This response is based on what people want to see in us; rather than what’s actually there. It’s often powered by people’s over-valuing of power, status and fame. And it’s frequently accompanied by powerful disappointment, and even a sense of betrayal, when we leaders turn out to be human. Real leaders make bad choices, occasionally behave foolishly, or in other ways don’t match the ideal.

A LEADER-FIRST emphasis calls for all eyes to be on the leader. Pedestal building may not have been the leader’s original intent; however, pedestals are built out of comparison or differentiation. Since personal power, accomplishment and fame are all differentiators between “us” and “them”, pedestals are automatically created. Once built, leaders often develop a mortal fear of falling.

The OTHER-FIRST Leader

What’s the antidote? If we believe leadership is actually about serving, helping others to become and accomplish their best, then the focus shifts. When leadership is a service role, where we help take people from here to there, we create a different dynamic. People stop fixating so much on us and, instead, appreciate the value we bring.

If they continue to grow in their personal sense of confidence and worth, their focus will be increasingly on how they can build their lives and grow. And, as they mature, they will naturally focus on how they can leverage what they have to help others to grow or be successful.

The OTHER-FIRST Leader doesn’t spend a lot of time worrying about pedestals. It’s unnecessary. These leaders live openly and authentically with people around them. They don’t need to spend extra time and energy on image maintenance. In fact, telling stories about their own mistakes, poor decisions, and insecurities is often an effective tool they use to help others grow.

They bring value to others and help build other people up. Those led know these leaders are passionate about contributing to their success. This helps disarm the need of the jealous and envious to try to undermine. The authenticity in relationship means that the infatuated don’t tend to build a distorted image.

If You Are On A Pedestal

Climb down. Shift your focus from prioritizing the building of your career, and satisfying your ambitions to helping others succeed. Zig Ziglar frequently said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Climb down and serve.

As you climb down, the jealous and envious might feel vindicated. Who cares? They are witnessing a demonstration of practical humility. Some of them will learn to recognize and value this. You might be the first person to demonstrate humility to them.

During your climb down, the infatuated might feel disillusioned. The glow might wear off a bit. So what? They are observing a deeper level of personal strength and character than what they may be able to appreciate. Some of them will, in time, appreciate it; and they’ll remember that you demonstrated it.

Ironically, climbing off your pedestal while still actively serving through leadership may help you build a better team than you’ve ever experienced. It may help you break down silos and create alignment throughout your organization. It may help you encourage and support the highest level of performance in the people you serve.

Serving those around you may make you more successful than you ever could have been on your own.