“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ― Lao Tzu

The best, most profitable things in my life have scared me.

Proposing to my wife. Terrifying.

Becoming a parent. Frightening.

Building my own business, learning to market, speaking on stages, writing a book, pushing clients to be their best, challenging mindsets…

It’s all been scary.

Fear is the most common and primary roadblock I’ve faced. Nothing else has caused me more problems or slowed progress.

And fear is mostly imagination. Reality has rarely ever been as bad as I imagined it.

But because of fear, because of imagination, I’ve left an awful lot of life on the table.

Every time I step out in courage – I take that life back.

The Biggest Fears

You wouldn’t think it when you meet successful leaders. The ones who ooze power and confidence. The man or woman who seems to have conquered any hill they bothered to look at.

But you’ll find that they deal with fear as well.

The fear that most leaders experience, is the fear of being perceived as a fraud.

A fraud in the sense of, “Will others discover that I don’t know how to handle this situation?”

The other crippling fears for leaders are:

• Fear of what others think.
• Fear of rejection.
• Fear of failure. (Which is closely tied to the above two fears.)

Everything, from being able to make tough calls, to dealing with conflict, to knowing when or how to pursue growth is impacted by fear.

Why Leaders Need to Face Their Fears

Leaders face the unknown. I was working with a group of business partners. After watching them wrestle with making decisions for a while, I realized what the issue was:

They thought there was a “right answer” they needed to discover.

They didn’t know that no “right answer” exists. It’s not out there.

All that exists is an unknown. Until a leader (or leaders) create an idea. Then they pursue that idea until it becomes reality, or they change course.

That’s what leaders do. They work to create good, fruitful and effective answers. They build a path to a future they make up, which lies somewhere in the unknown.

Leadership is a creative act. It requires courage.

Leaders need to encourage – put courage into – their followers. People face fear. That’s the norm.

To help people be their best and to get their best in return – requires leadership which helps others feel confident.

That happens when leaders are confident.

Leaders become confident not when they stop feeling fear – but when they recognize their fear and make a habit out of overcoming it.

The Four Benefits of Courage

1. To Make Decisions in Uncertainty. The future is unknown to everyone. Some leaders prefer to keep their ships in the harbor, where it’s safe. Others will venture out on short trips if the weather is good.

The captains who make a real difference are willing to venture beyond the horizon, to a place they’ve never been, come what may.

There are zero historical examples of leaders who made a real difference or impact while staying put in their harbors.

Courage enables you to see into the unknown.

2. The Confidence to Act. Many leaders know what to do yet are afraid to “press play.” They are afraid of the “what ifs.”

For many failed or declining organizations, what to do was obvious. But leadership was afraid to act.

Courage enables you to step into your future.

3. The Ability to Confront Poor Decisions. I spend a lot of time in boardrooms. Very smart and accomplished people often let poor decisions slide by. Often due to avoiding conflict. Sometimes due to not wanting to look stupid – and making sure they understand.

Courage (as opposed to anger or fear) allows you to not only confront poor decisions but to do so from a perspective that can stay objective and respectful.

4. The Ability to Develop Creative and Innovative Ideas. New ideas are the lifeblood of a healthy organization.

Innovation is important for growth. It’s what allows for improvement or differentiation.

Innovation is important when there are challenges. It’s what allows you to get out of your box and find solutions.

Many of the best things in life come from innovation, but it still scares us. Because we don’t know if it’ll work.

Sometimes it won’t. But we’d still be living in caves if someone didn’t try something new.

Courage allows us to innovate and create.

The Five Steps to Build Courage

1. Name Your Fear: Free floating, generalized fear is crippling. It feels like failure, rejection or hardship is everywhere. But it isn’t. Name it. Identify what it is you are afraid of.

The simple process of looking at fear and naming it starts to take the mystery out of it. It weakens it.

2. Shed Light on Your Fear: Most fears are 98% imagination. I’ve been stalked by bears. I’ve lived in war zones. The scariest stuff I’ve ever faced was all in my head.

Get some light on the situation. Shine a light under the bed. Get good, reliable facts about what you are afraid of. You’ll start to realize that there is less to fear than you thought.

3. Face Any Fear (Baby steps are fine): Courage is like a muscle. You build it. Don’t tackle the biggest, heaviest fear first. Start out with small ones.

Write a list of small fears, small challenges that for you, are inhibiting. You might even be embarrassed at what you put on the list. You don’t have to show it to anyone!

But start facing those fears. Start stepping into them. Build an inventory of experiences where you discovered how false or exaggerated those fears were. Those experiences with small fears will help you tackle larger ones.

4. Have Support: Get support. Find someone to go with you. A partner, a family member, a friend, a coach, a counselor…it doesn’t matter. Find someone (or more than one someone) to go through the experience with you.

Personally, I’ve learned that many people around me are afraid as well. I’ve needed to add people to my life who were less afraid and were willing to step out.

5. Know Who You Love and Who Loves You

Leaders rarely fear physical harm. They mostly fear what others will think. Or dealing with interpersonal challenges.

Enormous courage is generated from being passionate about your people, bring in love with your cause and you will have reason to feel secure in a relationship.

Build, nurture and protect loving relationships. It will give you the courage to face challenges you aren’t even aware of right now.

Courageous Leaders Build Courageous People The mindset of a leader is contagious. Leaders who face challenges and tackle uncomfortable or hard issues – build people who do the same.

But many people will assume that leaders don’t feel fear. It’s hard to model internal thoughts and emotions.

So, leaders need to be vulnerable. They need to open up. They need to offer insight into how they make decisions and process uncertainty.

This will help others take courage.

It takes courage to be creative, ethical and effective. Fear requires very little and consumes a lot of energy.

Choose to be courageous.

Take good care,

Christian

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