Leaders lead out of who they are. You are your greatest leadership tool. Because of this, it’s an obligation of leadership to continually work on your growth and wellness.

Fearful or insecure leaders tend to either be rigid, defensive or vacillating. Angry leaders may be reactive, spiteful or dominating. Depressed leaders may withdraw or be unpredictable.

Conversely, confident leaders are both able to set a clear direction and welcome input that may alter the direction. Calm and reflective leaders are able to respond appropriately and with the right balance of engagement and authority. Resilient, positive leaders engage challenges and disappointments as opportunities.

Healthy leadership is similar to physical wellness. To a large degree we are products of what we eat and our environment.

OK – so what contributes to leadership wellness and what inhibits it?

Leadership Toxins

Toxin #1: Your core story. By this, I mean the narrative that influences or directs your life. We all have one. Basically, this is the ‘deep story’ that we believe we are part of. For most of us it was developed over thousands of repeated experiences and messages that formed our sense of who we are. For some of us there are specific, significant incidents that shaped our perspective. Either way this sense of ‘who we are’ and ‘how we fit’ continues to guide or influence our behavior. These stories could be tied to our family, school experiences, social class, ethnicity or gender or any other number of things.

In most situations, the story we are living is primarily reactive to experiences of the past. Because it is reactive – we tend to recreate aspects or components of the story. This contributes to self-perpetuation; which is good, when the story is good.

Cleanse: Walter Wright of the Max De Pree Center for Leadership says our core beliefs shape our character. Character shapes our values. Our values form our relationships. Our relationships inform our behavior. Our behavior leads to whether or not we (as leaders) create cultures where others can thrive. If we do, this leads to profits, success in goals, etc.

1. Take time to understand what makes you tick.
   1. What are your core beliefs?
   2. What do you find yourself reacting to?
   3. What are the major filters you tend to use to understand life?
2. Determine what, in your story, is true; and what isn’t, or is no longer, true.
3. Determine what you want your story to be.
   1. Who do you want to be?
   2. What do you want to be about?
4. Begin to rewrite your story. Figure out the support you need and the steps you need to take to create a future shaped by a healthy version of who you are and who you want to become.

Toxin #2: Unhelpful relationships. A friend of mine recently commented that two-thirds of who we are is comprised of a summary of our 6 closest friends. I don’t know how empirical those numbers are – but it made me stop and think. Am I surrounding myself with the kinds of people I’d like to become? Do my primary relationships include people who are creative, encouraging, growing and building the kinds of lives that I aspire to?

Cleanse: Effective leaders who avoid crashing and burning surround themselves with good, motivational friends, family and mentors. Take a relationship inventory.

1. What are your highest values and goals?
2. What do you hope for in terms of personal, professional, relational or spiritual development?
3. Are your closest friendships people who pull you in those directions? Or are they people who are stagnant or stalled in life or profession? Or are they people who are moving in contrary directions?

Do you want to move to the next level in leadership? Do you hopes to sustain effective, influential leadership over the long haul? You’ll need to spend much less time around people who are not drawing your forward and much more time around those who are.

Toxin #4: Unhelpful/Repetitive Habits. These are lifestyle choices that do not contribute to, or detract from, health. They may be as simple as poor time-management and organizational disciplines. It may be as personal as poor sleeping and eating habits – which prevent us from operating at our best during the day. They may extend to addictive behaviors and self-medication. Either way, we all tend to develop patterns of behavior which really don’t serve us well.

Cleanse: Changing behavior is often a challenging process. You’ll actually find that working on the first two toxins will help you with this fourth one. Spending time with groups of people who demonstrate the behaviors or disciplines you are looking for will help you. Being coached by someone is also very helpful. Joining groups of peers who are growing and changing specific behaviors is often critical.

None of these leadership toxins are necessarily easy to address. However, many leaders find themselves stuck, hitting a ceiling, or struggling again and again with the same challenges. If you aren’t growing and expanding in the way that you hope, take a look at these toxins and begin pursuing ways to increase your leadership health. You’ll lead better and feel better.